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General Principles of Discipline

General principles of discipline:

While every child is different, most children need to be given consistent, clear rules and expectations about behavior. The following are some general principles about discipline:

• Discipline needs to begin as soon as the child is mobile - pulling up and crawling.
• Young infants rely on their parents to provide a safe environment.
• Discipline should be age-focused and should teach age-appropriate behaviors.
• Try to recognize and praise your child when he/she is being good.
• Be a good role model for your child.
• After the discipline occurs, hug your child. Make sure the child knows it is the behavior you are not happy with, not the child.
• Physical punishment is not needed or appropriate.
• Rewards for good behavior should be immediate.

Decrease unwanted behavior:

It is important to remember not to reward a child or give positive reinforcement for a bad behavior. For example, if a child is having a temper tantrum, giving him/her a cookie to be quiet is rewarding the child for the bad behavior. In order to help decrease the chance of bad behavior, consider the following:

• Do not reinforce the behavior; simply ignore the child.
• The behavior may have to result in an unpleasant consequence, such as punishment.
• Active punishment has two forms, including the following:
  • denying the child privileges or desired activities, such as decreasing TV time or no dessert
  • undesirable or uncomfortable activities can be required of the child, such as doing chores or having "time-out"
• The behavior can result in natural consequences. For example, a child who will not eat may go to bed hungry.
• It is generally accepted that spanking and other forms of physical punishment are not helpful. These types of discipline teach the child aggressive behaviors and poor conflict management.

Methods of discipline:

Discipline methods often depend on the age of the child, and how much the child understands his/her behavior. The following are some suggestions for discipline techniques for each age group:

• infants and toddlers:
  • Safety is the main concern.
  • Infants will respond to a loud, firm voice saying "no."
  • Provide a safe environment that decreases the chances of things being broken by the child.
  • After saying "no," direct your child to an acceptable behavior, such as a toy.
  • Do not reward bad behavior. Ignore temper tantrums, but confront other problems, such as biting or hitting.
  • Praise and reward good behavior.
• preschoolers:
  • Preschoolers need clear and consistent rules.
  • This age group needs time to prepare for the next activity. Give your child a warning before it is time to stop playing.
  • Preschoolers need lots of explanation as to why things are being done.
  • Use time-out for bad behavior.
  • Use praise for good behavior.
• school-aged children:
  School-aged children need the above rules and guidelines plus the following:
  • Give your child chances to explain their side and opinion and opportunities to express their feelings and concerns.
  • Give your child choices.
  • Give your child chances to help solve problems together regarding their behavior.
• adolescents:
  • This age group needs patient and understanding parents as they test all limits.
  • Adolescents need to be told the long-term outcomes of bad behaviors.
  • Adolescents need to be involved with limit-setting, based on their maturity.