Managing the Holiday Gimmies
The twinkling lights, the festive music, the shiny wrapping paper and ribbons. As parents, the holiday season gives us a chance to surprise and delight our children with gifts. But all too often, the commercial aspect of the holiday season takes over, and these special times become a struggle to balance greed and gratitude.
Creating memorable holidays
If your holiday shopping trips are becoming overwhelming as you mark off items on your child’s wish list, remember that you can create memorable holidays that won’t turn your child into a Gimmie Monster.
A good value: Consider your family’s values and set a limit on spending so children don’t feel overwhelmed at unwrapping time and parents don’t have regrets when the bills come in. It is also important to consider each purchase for its age-appropriateness and safety for your child. We’ve outlined some guidelines for safe toys at the end of this issue. No matter what the age, it is important to manage their expectations and to remind them of the true reasons we celebrate Chanukah, Kwanzaa or Christmas.
Give before you receive: This is a time we can work to help our children learn the value of giving. Before the holiday, clean out and donate outgrown toys and clothes to share with others who are less fortunate. Involve your child in this process. Have him think about the joy someone else will experience with his former toy.
Leave room for disappointment: Disappointment is not all bad! In fact, kids need many little disappointments during their childhood in order to become more emotionally mature. The child who always gets what she wants will not learn how to cope with life’s setbacks. Use the disappointment as an opportunity to teach a life lesson. You can describe situations when you didn’t get something you really wanted and how you dealt with your feelings.
Make it a priority: Encourage your child to prioritize. Whether it is budget or common sense, kids shouldn’t receive everything on their holiday gift list. Ask them which one to three gifts would mean the most, rather than a dozen that are meaningless. Selectivity can help teach your child values.
There’s no rush: Take your time when opening gifts. Children often become overwhelmed by a large number of gifts and may get frustrated if they cannot stop and play with each new toy as it is opened. Some families share gifts over several nights so that a child can enjoy a single gift together with the family for an entire evening.
Choosing safe and appropriate gifts
When you do begin shopping, keep these tips in mind:
- Follow age guidelines for toys. Toys that are too advanced could be a safety hazard for younger children and even a source of frustration if they cannot master the toy.
- Toddlers can choke on small parts contained in toys or games. Government regulations specify that toys for children younger than 3 years cannot have parts smaller than 1.25 inches in diameter and 2.25 inches long. A small-parts tester, or choke tube, can be used to determine if a toy is too small. If you can't find one, a toilet paper roll can be used for the same purpose.
- Keep objects containing lithium “button” batteries out of children’s hands. These types of batteries are found in remote controls, toys, musical greeting cards, calculators, watches and other electronics. When swallowed, button batteries can cause severe burns — in as little as two hours — to the esophagus and the stomach.
- To avoid the risk of electric shock, don't give children under age 10 a toy that must be plugged into an electrical outlet.
- Watch for pull toys with strings that are more than 12 inches in length. They could be a strangulation hazard for babies.
- Before buying a toy or allowing your child to play with a toy he received as a gift, read the instructions. If the toy is appropriate for your child, show him how to use it properly. If you feel the toy is inappropriate, consider exchanging it at the store.
- Consider your values when it comes to toys and video games that encourage violent or aggressive behavior. For example, do you really want your child sitting for an hour or two behind a video game that derives its “fun” from shooting people? Seek out less violent alternatives.
Most importantly, spend time with your child and show him a lot of love. Affection and attention are much more valuable than anything you can buy in a store. Whether it’s going to your child’s holiday play or sitting quietly together listening to the music of the season, there are many opportunities to demonstrate how special your children are to you.
Reviewed by: Patrick S. Pasquariello Jr., MD
Date: November 2011
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