Winning the Whining War
“My sock feels funny.” “The cereal is too smushy.” “I don’t wanna clean up.” All of these statements sound even worse when whined at a piercing volume. No one likes the sound of whining, but that never stops your child from sounding like an air raid siren. So, how do you cope with whining — and make it stop?
With a few simple techniques, parents can curb the chronic whining:
- Telling your child to stop whining will probably just make matters worse. Instead, tell your child that whining will not get her what she wants. Calmly say that you will listen once she starts speaking in a normal voice.
- Praise your child when he uses a normal voice, tone and volume to make a request.
- If you have said “no” to your child’s request and she continues to whine, stick to your guns. Remind her that the whining will not make you any more inclined to give her what she wants.
- Never give in to whining. Never. No matter how annoying it is or how long it lasts. If it helps, leave the room. If you give in, you will let your child know that if he just whines loud enough and long enough, you will cave and he can get what he wants. The result: more and more whining.
- Let your child know that if he wants to whine, he can do so all he wants in his room with the door closed. Make sure your child has no access to a TV, computer, or handheld games while in his room.
- Point out when he is whining. Whining can become an unconscious habit, so calling attention to the behavior will make her more aware of it.
- If your child is sleepy or has had a long day, don’t take her to the supermarket. You are setting yourself up for a frustrating afternoon. Remember to avoid taking small children out when they are tired, as whining gets worse with sleepiness.
- Model non-whining behavior. Yes, adults whine, so don’t be caught acting childishly. If you have a problem, discuss it like a mature adult.
Reviewed by: Patrick S. Pasquariello Jr., MD
Date: February 2012
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