Tami D. Benton, MD: The other thing that's really important is, you know, sometimes bad things happen in the community. And, you know, young people are frightened by them. When we, when we think about things like school shootings, I didn't have to grow up learning about school shootings. I mean, those kinds of things can really generate a sense of fear, you know, for young people.

And then sometimes tragic things happen, you know, accidents happen. Suicides happen, okay, for young people. And when they happen, they're traumatizing. And you know, it's really important that when young people experience those kind of events, that the people who are part of their lives on an ongoing basis, are able to respond to those things and you know, it's always helpful to bring in professionals to support the teams, but it's, it's absolutely vital that when these situations happen, the communities in which they happen need to be prepared to support young people, through those traumas. And that's actually the best intervention.

So when they happen, we have to address them. But we have to address them, it, as difficult as it may be for the adults when tragedies happen, we have to be able to support young people in their communities and in their environments to kind of work through those traumatic experiences.

Yeah, so I would suggest that when tragedies happen, particularly when children are able to acknowledge that they are aware that it's important to have those conversations and to have those conversations at the rate at which the young person can have them. I mean, I would advise like, you know, most of the time what happens is we retraumatize people by continuing to watch the news and watch the tragedy over and over again.

And I recommend limiting the exposure as much as possible, and explaining to kids in developmentally appropriate language. You know, young children might ask you what happened, and you can explain it to them in terms that they understand. But what's vitally important in those conversations is that you, yourself, are in a place where you can have that conversation without the excessive emotion that may accompany that because young people pick up on your emotional states, and you have to be able to be comfortable listening to what they might have to say to you about, any of these traumatic events. I guess one other thing I'd wanna mention is, you know, parents often ask me when I say, you know, like your child is experiencing depression. The thing we worry about most with severe depression is suicide. And it's important that you check in with your child, to understand whether they're having suicidal thinking. And, you know, many of the parents ask like, how do I even have that conversation with my child?

'Cause, you know, it's a frightening conversation. But I do think it, what's really important is recognizing that it's a safety measure. As you would do with any other safety measure with your child and yourself getting comfortable with how you start to have that conversation, starting with how do you, how are you feeling?

I know you've been going through a lot or maybe it have been some upsetting event and I know you've had some upsetting event. How are you doing with that? And how are you feeling about that? And if that conversation is not heading in the right direction, whether you're youngster saying, I feel really terrible, I feel like I wanna be here anymore, then you have to get comfortable asking the question, you know, are you thinking about hurting yourself? And it's a hard conversation to have, but it can be a lifesaving conversation.

Yeah, I, you know, and I think mostly with, young people who are depressed or anxious and, you know, anxiety and depression are very commonly associated. But, you know, as I, as I kind of stated a little bit earlier, you know, when you notice that your child's behavior changes, okay. And, and I'll tell you that's the most prominent sign, when they're not spending time with their friends.

When they're not spending time with their family. You know, if you're a family that has routines, like we eat dinner together and they're not doing that anymore. They're sleeping a lot more. If they become much more withdrawn. If you notice they're spending a lot more time online with social media and much less time with, you know, real activities in the world.

I mean, those are things to be concerned about. And if you're seeing signs like self-injury, you know, which is relatively common, it's important to ask questions about that and to not accept the, oh, this is nothing. Because, it's something. It may not be something that is suicide, but it's something that really needs to be addressed.

And then, you know, the take home message with all of this is, it's important to know, because we have so many interventions that work. And most young people will successfully get through whatever these periods are with the right level of support and the right level of intervention. So having a mental health condition, regardless of what it is, is not a sentence to not having a fulfilling life. The goal of all of our treatments and intervention are to allow people to reach their potential and have the happiest life that they can. And happiness is important. We want young people to be, you know, fulfilled and enjoy their lives and to thrive.

That's the, that's the goal and we have lots of way to support that for children and families who are experiencing mental health challenges.

I think that what's really important, I mean, so one, it's important not to ignore the reality of the event that's happened because it has happened and you know, I think it's important to reassure young people, that you can, that we can be safe and how do we think about safety, but it's important that parents feel that way themselves. And that they're, they've been able to find some solutions that can support family safety and putting some guidelines and rules around that.

So, you know, if, just in general, you know, most parents, all of us don't feel like your kids should be running around the middle of the night by themselves when you don't know where they are. So, I mean, family rules and expectations. Consistency in family routines. And, and parents being able to convey a sense that they can actually help you with the problem. That is the most important things. The families need to feel prepared, but if you don't as a family feel prepared because the reality of your situation may not be that you actually can provide that safety, then you need to seek people in the community who can strengthen your sense of safety and provide that support for you.

I think that it comes up most often around tragedies that happen in schools. And it's important that schools, schools are able to debrief with kids, discuss the trauma, and provide support within that school so that those young people know that they'll be safe in that environment because the adults around them are making sure that they'll be safe.

And that applies to, that applies to home, that applies to school, that applies to any community.